Monday, July 14, 2014

My relationship with my Spouse





It was a hot summer day in July in Arkansas when I first saw Curtis.  I was walking down a stairwell with my friend, Erin.  There he was.  Dark hair, dark eyes, tan skin, bright green polo shirt, adorable smile.  And I said, "Erin, I am going to date that guy!"  Hahah!  Little did I know what God had in store. 

Over the course of our first semester, we had an eight o clock class together and we never talked...mostly because I never made it to class.  That's a story for another time.  Anyway, I remember walking across the front lawn of Harding University to see Curtis sitting on blanket with a blonde haired girl.  I was crushed.  So, first semester fades into second semester of our freshman year.  To my delight, Curtis started hanging out with my group of friends.  However, after getting to know him and being around him, he drove me crazy.  All he did was pick on me.  I remember thinking "Never mind!"

Over the summer I met someone in uptown Charlotte and went back to Harding with a boyfriend.  I remember Curtis not being too fond of the guy (and for good reason).  Eventually, I realized this other guy wasn't good for me and called it off with him.  Curtis and I started hanging out a lot just the two of us and became super close friends.  By Christmas of that semester, we were officially dating.  It was the HAPPIEST time in my time there at Harding.  He was my best friend.  I told him everything and we did everything together (as best as we could...Harding was full of strict rules).

A year went by and we were seriously dating.  By November of the next year, we were engaged and transferring to Charlotte because I was dying to be close to my family and new nieces and nephew. 

We got married about a year later on August 2, 2003.  It wasn't my dream wedding due to funds at the time, but it didn't matter.  My wedding day is only one day and  I was marrying my best friend for the rest of my days. 

It's been 11 years since then.  We have shared struggles, victories, and miracles.  We have been happy with each other, upset at each other, annoyed with one another, and in awe of each other.  We have encouraged each other, disappointed one another and laughed at each other mistakes and silliness. 

We have lived in 4 different houses/ apartments, changed churches, made and lost friends,  opened our home to a few pets, and welcomed our home and our hearts to our 2 daughters. 

We have seen each other through different jobs, through schooling,  and through careers ending.

Curtis has always loved me in a way I don't feel I am capable of.  He loves me unconditionally.  I love my two girls in that way, but it's a struggle with my poor husband.  He loves me even when I criticize, roll my eyes, vent my frustrations, nag him, disappoint him, and even hurt him.  He has walked with me through my own set of fears and filth.  He has supported me in my teaching career and choice to end that.  He encourages me in my role as a mommy and wife.  He sees me like God sees me. 

I think that we have a very healthy relationship.  At the end of the day, we accept each other for who we are, we love each other even when it is tough, we help each other, and we know we are blessed by the life that God has given us.  We take our commitment very seriously and are extremely devoted to each other.  We never let a disagreement go to the next day.  We listen and try to understand where the other is coming from.  Sometimes, we just agree to disagree.  And that is ok. 

There he is.  I know that God planted Curtis in that room that one, hot summer day for me to see.  I know He planned for us to meet one day.  I never would have imagined how blessed I would be for that one, hot summer day in July in Arkansas. 

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