I have done a lot of thinking the past week, ever since our daughter, Ava Elizabeth Alford, entered our lives. 2012 has had some whirlwind changes. I feel blessed beyond measure. I am so grateful for everything, especially because I am so undeserving.
The best thing that has ever happened to me happened on December 5, 2012. Her name is Ava Elizabeth. She came into this world a week later than she was supposed to and would still be in there if she could I am sure. She was 9lbs. 6 oz. and had to be delivered by c-section. Doctors talked about me being induced for 2 days if it took that long. I wasn't thrilled about the idea. I didn't want to go through 2 days of labor and still end up having to have a c-section. We were admitted into the hospital Wednesday evening and I started pitocin. I had pitocin all the next day until about 4 pm and they had given me the max amount. I was in a lot of pain because I ended up trying to do as much as I could naturally. After many hours of pitocin, I was not dilating at all and it was time to get my little girl out. I was sent in for a c-section. I was terrified. I knew it was a possibility but when I was told this really is the only option I was emotional and extremely anxious.
They took me back and separated me from Curtis for a while. I was not really thrilled about that because Curtis is the calm one in situations such as these. I got a spinal tap at this point and that was the hardest part. I was pretty difficult for the anesthesiologist. Finally, they brought Curtis in and a sense of calm came over me. I remember asking the nurse if the doctor had cut me and she said that the baby was almost out. I wasn't feeling a thing. My doctor did such an excellent job at the surgery. Everyone in the OR was like rock stars. Then, at 5:08, my little girl entered this world. She was so pudgy and I instantly fell in love. Ever since meeting her, I have had a whole new perspective on life. If I go back to teaching, I will not be the same teacher I was before I had my own child. I totally understand a parents desire to always protect their children. The protective instinct kicks in instantly. Being a mommy is the best job I will ever have. She is the best part of me. I am so happy to have this little girl in my life and I love her so much. Even though I am extremely exhausted, emotional, frustrated with feeding times occassionally, I wouldn't trade one second of it.
Thank you God for the many blessings You have bestowed on me and my family. I am not deserving of any of it, but You have provided it for me anyway. You have given me Your little girl to raise and it's not a job I take lightly. Thank you for trusting me and Curtis with one of Your little angels.