Sunday, September 25, 2011

When it rains it pours...

We were on our way to church this morning and what to my wondering eyes do appear but the check engine light. Well, if you know me at all, you know I don't take warning lights appearing in my car lightly. A trek down to church is about 30 minutes and not knowing what is wrong with my car is taking a chance down an unknown, possibly unwelcome road. We thought it might be that I have low oil since I have an oil leak...probably due to hitting a giant log and carrying it with me hundreds of feet as my friend and I try to make our way through this torturous storm to a better place to pull over than in the middle of the street. We drove to a auto parts store close by and got some oil, but the engine light is still on. Now, I have been in cars who's owners allow the check engine light to stay on for a while and don't worry about it, but this car is not very old at all and it should not be showing this light whatsoever. When this happened I literally burst into tears. I was suppose to be at church helping our worship leader leads the children in worship. I have been completely overwhelmed with life lately, everything about it. Quite frankly, I have been depressed. When that indicator light came on in my car, I asked God, "what else? What else can you possibly throw at me?" Well, hopefully He doesn't show me what else He can toss my way, because truthfully, He could throw a ton more at me. I am going through such a test right now with every single aspect in my life and unfortunately, I have been leaving God out of it. I am not letting Him in. No wonder I can't deal with the daily anymore. No wonder I am drained of every ounce of energy. No wonder I am depressed. I would appreciate any prayers from those of you who believe in the miraculous power of prayer. I am lonely, lost, and just down right sad. I need help from God and I need prayers that I will allow Him to work these things out for me or atleast provide me the strength to get through them.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

I wonder???

I wonder about many things throughout my day...I remember thinking on my way to work this morning as I drove through my neighborhood and saw lights turning on and the roads starting to show glimpses of life again and soon enough, another busy day beginning again, if this is what God had intended for us? I know the answer to that. He didn't have this in mind when He created us. He had us living in a beautiful garden living with animals and everything going along peacefully. If only Eve would have had strong will and courage to stay away from the tree of knowledge of good and evil and to resist the temptation to eat that forbidden fruit. Life would be so much more peaceful and think I would actually be able to talk with animals. I mean the snake who was satan talked to Eve in the garden, tempting her to the tree. AND!!! she wasn't scared of the snake! Times were different then!
After another day at work and talking to others that have finished their day at work, I know this is not what God had in mind. But, it is what it is. We are here because of a choice made long ago and now we are paying the price by working long hours, being endlessly tired, feeling pushed, shoved, pulled in every which way and trying hard just to make a living. However, we still haven't paid the ultimate price. The price Christ paid for us on a cross. And I am truly thankful for that. So, tomorrow, when I feel like I can't do anymore, I hope I remember the price Christ paid and remember that there is nothing I can ever do that will ever amount to the sacrifice He made for me!

Sunday, September 11, 2011

9-11 remembered

We stayed home from church today. We stayed home to reflect on what happened 10 years ago today. I remember that day so clearly. I remember running to my dorm room to call my mom and get a hold of my dad who was traveling to the pentagon for a meeting. I remember people crying. I remember being so angry...everyone so angry. I remember watching the buildings fall and seeing devastating pictures on the tv in NYC. That was a day I will never forget. It still brings tears to my eyes and it burns a hole in my heart.

But what I feel on this day is NOTHING compared to those who have lost family members to this tragedy. I do not understand the total pain they have to live through every day of their lives. I will never understand what they go through day in and day out. I will never understand the worry and fear those who have loved ones who are fighting for this country because of that day must have...the day war was declared on us.

I am always thinking about that day. Not just on 9-11. Those memories and thoughts are always pinned in the back of my brain. To the families who have lost loved ones on that day and to those who have lost loved ones to fight for the USA because of that day; I am so sorry for your loss. I know this day and every other day must be so difficult for you. I am always praying and thinking of you. To those who have allowed their husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, daughters, sons, brothers, sisters, grandsons, grandaughters, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends fight for our freedom and rights in this country, thank you.

To our brave service men and women, thank you for all you do. Freedom comes with a price. Thank you for paying that price for us. Thank you for putting your lives on the line for people you don't know and for the country that you love.