Tuesday, May 29, 2012

its been a while

So much has happened since I have last blogged.  This year started out rough when my husbands father passed away on my birthday.  But so much has happened since that I am truly thankful for and feel so blessed.  Curtis graduated from UNC Chapel Hill with his nurse practitioning license.  He got a job where he will be working for the Sangor Heart Clinic at CMC on the pediatric side (although he still has his boards to take, but he will do fine!)  I have decided to quit my job, am going to be watching someones child.  And finally after almost 9 years of marriage we are  due to have a baby in November.  This has been something I have been keeping wrapped up inside for 14 weeks.  I haven't known when to tell everyone.  I don't want to hurt feelings of friends who are hoping for that same news.  I know what it is like to be on the  other side.  But, as I look at it, they are going to find out eventually when there are random photos posted on facebook...

I do want my friends who are yearning for a child to know...don't give up.  Pray constantly about it.  I don't understand why it is hard for some couples to get pregnant and others to not, why children can have babies and why parents who don't care about their kids can have babies.  But God has a plan.  I wish I would have trusted him back when I would cry my eyes out over the news of a friend getting pregnant, or a negative test.  I wish that I wouldn't have doubted Him.  It is hard to not have control over your own life.  But God does have it in control.  I want you to know that I am praying for you.  I know that prayer can be a powerful thing.  I think about you and the struggles you are facing and....just know, I am always praying about your situation.  Do not blame yourself for this situation.  I know when Curtis and I were going through the struggles of getting pregnant we would ask ourselves what past sin are we being paid back for, are we just going to be terrible parents and God doesn't want to put another child through that, or are we going to get sick and won't be able to take care of the child so God is saving us pain and heartache?  I would sit and stew over those questions countless times....getting angrier by the minute.  You did not do anything for this to happen, but it will happen for you....I am praying that it does!