Sunday, January 30, 2011

Am I listening?

Well, today's lesson at Center City was, once again, awesome and meaningful. It is not a huge secret anymore that Curtis and I are trying to have kids...but my plan and God's plan do not seem to be going at the same pace.

I have been praying about it...I have been praying that I will have a child one day and hopefully soon. I have been talking about it to God constantly. I have always had fears of not being able to have kids (like so many other women) and the fear of not knowing can be so tiresome. I am trying to have faith that God is going to allow it to happen. His timing is perfect. I may not understand it at first, but I pray that I will understand or atleast have peace with it.

Peace is exactly what I need. Worrying about it will do nothing for me, Curtis, or my relationship with God.

Father, give me the peace to know that everything will be okay and the faith to know You are in control and in charge and because of that I have nothing to worry about. I give it all to You!

Thursday, January 27, 2011

By My Side

So I was listening to the song By Your Side this evening...and a sense of peace came over me.
Jesus is always by my side when I fall, even in the dead of night whenever I call. His hands are holding onto me. I love when it says please don't fight these hands that are holding you...My hands are holding you.

I am so blessed to have a Father in heaven who longs for me to hold onto Him. There are so many times I choose to let go and handle situations myself. Every single time I do that, I crash and burn. I fight for control and look where I end up. I am so thankful for my God who holds onto me when I have given up. I am fortunate to have a Father who never gives up on me even when I think I have lost all hope. Thank you Jesus.

YoYo's are a BIG NO NO! this week we had a motivational speaker come talk to our elementary students..... She used the acronym NED (Never give up, Encourage others, Do your best). Anyway, she did every part of her speech with a yo-yo. Not just any kind of yo-yo but "special" yo-yo's. Well, those are selling like hotcakes at school. At first, I thought how funny is this, but now after probably over 2,000 dollars being sold of these awesome yo-yo's, I am getting a little annoyed. We are only on day 3 of selling. We have Friday and Monday left to sell these suckers.

How is it that I am using my paycheck to buy kids pencils, folders, erasers, paper, offering to pay for field trips, buying kids books at the bookfair because I feel bad that they didn't have money, but they can buy $16.50 for a yo-yo? Yes, you heard me right...$16.50 (it does come with a DVD to show you how to do all the little tricks). Answer that for me, because I can't seem to figure it out!

Just my thought for the day, but I am still smiling in ALL things (hahah)

Monday, January 24, 2011

Not Much bothers me!!!!

People who blame anything but themselves for THEIR failure.

Noisy eaters.

People who are mean to animals.

People with bad table manners.

Drivers who won't turn right on red.

Vulgar talk

Not washing hands after using the bathroom.
People who don't perform their duties at work.

Guys who leave the toilet seat up.

Celebrities claiming to be environmentalists.

waiting on a table with a picky eater (they can never order off the menu without customizing every aspect of the meal).


When ice cream drips out of the bottom of a sugar cone.

People who take forever to order food while I'm in line.

Someone standing over my shoulder reading the computer screen.

People who don't cover their mouth while sneezing or coughing.

Dirty dishes in the sink.

Jerks who take up 2 parking spaces.

People who act like they're in their own living room at an event (concert, ballgame, play, movies or a restaurant).

People who give their kids weird names

People that don't list prices on websites, stores, and infomercials.

When people leave the cap off the toothpaste.

You know when you ask someone a simple, straightforward question and they spend ten solid minutes rambling on about everything in the world EXCEPT the answer to your simple, straightforward question?

People who don't know the difference between its/it�s and they�re /their/there.

People who carry a one sided conversation

When you can't tell if someone is male or female.

Having to use more than one remote control (one for TV, dvd player, cable box, TIVO, etc.)

When you find a really cute piece of clothing on the rack and they have like twenty in size XS, two in size 3X, and not a single one in your size.

People who throw cigarette butts on the beach or anywhere else

Ignorant people.

Driving somewhere and having the sun in my eyes.

The naming of celebrity couples (Bennifer, TomKat, etc.)

Movie sequels that are unnecessary.

When you have an itch on the bottom of your foot and you can't scratch it because you have shoes on.

When someone leaves their phone number at the end of a long message and they say it so fast you can't understand it and have to listen multiple times to figure it out.

Suburban kids who think they are gangstas.

Retail clerks that ignore the live customer to help somebody that interrupts by phone

People who don't pick up after themselves.

In an obviously crowded restaurant, people who linger long after receiving their check especially when you are trying to earn a buck...holding up my table ain't gonna pay my bills!

Sunday so called "Christians" giving you a Bible passage instead of a monetary tip because people automatically assume if you are waiting tables on a Sunday you are not a Christian...that doesn't pay my bills either people! (Can you tell I had some bad waiting table experiences???)

When you pull a string hanging from your shirt and it doesn't break, but only becomes longer.

No toilet paper or paper towels in public bathrooms.

People who don't control their bratty children.

People who always have to be right and have the last word.

People who no matter what relate to something you have done and try to "one up" you.

Rappers who thank God at awards cermonies.

Mumbling, then annoyedly saying "Forget it!" when people don't hear you.

People who spell "you're" as "your." (thats the teacher in me!)

People who don't cash checks you give them in a timely manner.

People who blow their horn at you the nano-second the light changes to green.

Hair strands left on shower walls.

When you first meet someone and can't remember the person's name by the end of the conversation.

People who mumble.

Men who ogle or whistle at women who walk down the street.

When you have to walk out of the shower naked because you forgot to bring a towel with you.

Needless meetings.

Guys who wear wifebeaters (and nothing else for a shirt) in public.

Forks whose tines don't stand up in a perfectly straight line

The sound of too much spit in someone's mouth when they talk.

When someone starts to watch a show or movie in the middle of it and expect you to tell them what's happening.

When other people sleep on my pillow.

People who can't wait to file a lawsuit in order to get rich quick.

Websites with horizontal scrolling.
People who use unnecessary abbreviations, like w/e (whatever), w/o (without) and j/k (just kidding).

Walking into spider webs.

Handle with care

So today I was reminded about how fragile life can be by nothing other! I have had nothing but problems with my teeth, especially one in particular. I take good care of my teeth, but you would never know it. I am just one of the fortunate ones who was given weak teeth and I have to painstakingly deal with it every time I turn around.

I bit into a candy heart today and felt something weird. I was at school, so I didn't have a lot of time to check into it. I walked to the mirror that is on the inside of a cabinet and didn't see or feel any problems. Later, when I got home, I bit into something else, and voila! My tooth basically cracked in half. Now, this is a tooth that has had multiple problems. I had to have a root canal in middle or high school. Then, before I was to get married, the tooth cracked. Being a broke college student and almost newly wed person trying to make a living waiting tables at Applebees (yuck!) and go to school full-time, I just did not have the funds. It wasn't painful, so I left it alone until I could afford to deal with it. During the time I was waiting it got an infection. However, I would not find that out until after it was crowned. Well, a couple years later the tooth began to hurt which it really should not because it had a root canal done. So, they x-rayed it and there was an infection at where the root would be. They had to take care of that and basically do the root canal over again. I had to have it crowned a second time after that. Well, guess what!?! It cracked once again and I have been told by my dentist I need to see an oral surgeon to pull it out. URGH! So, after thousands of dollars (seriously) spent on this tooth to save it, it turns out it is still a piece of crap....there ya go! Money wasted! Good times had!

I take really good care of my teeth. I brush 2-3 times per day and I floss and rinse daily. I have a tooth brush in my classroom for Pete's sake.

I tell you all this because it reminded me how life is just fragile. Every aspect of it! The most fragile piece of life though, one that has to be handled with care, is your relationship with God. He needs for you to spend countless hours nurturing your relationship with Him so you can grow stronger in all aspects of life. Here I thought I took care of my tooth, but it wasn't enough. Even when I think I am on it with God, it is not will never be enough. I have to handle my relationship with God carefully, because it is so fragile...

The funny thing about that is how much more fragile my life seems when I don't make Him a part of it. So Lord, help me to make sure I handle our relationship together with care and that I nurture it like nothing else...(oh and help me pay for my tooth, too!).

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Areas to give up to God

So, its been a few days...finding that when I am teaching all week, even typing on a computer can seem tedious. It has been one week and I have been working on smiling in all things. So here is how I did on that Monday-Friday
Wednesday-check (lasted almost all day)
Thursday-lasted until about noon
Friday-can't give myself a check

haha..noticing a pattern? I am! One other thing that is really interesting is I prayed that I would keep my eyes focused on God Monday and Tuesday. I don't remember praying that any other day or reading The Word.

Hmmm???? So, even though I already know all of this, the only way I can be connected to the vine is if I am listening, talking, and reading about Him each and EVERY DAY.

Another thing on my mind is I have not been content with my weight. I have always been a fairly small person, but am noticing some increased weight gain and I am not liking it one bit. I try to work out but I never stay on a consistent schedule. I try not to snack all day, but that is really hard for me because I love food. So, I need to also work on that, especially after seeing bathing suits out at Target yesterday and being reminded I want to fit in one of those this summer. So, that is another facet of my life I need to give to God.

A third area of life that I really need to give up to God is this:
My husband and I have been married for almost 8 years. We are starting to plan our family. I am really nervous about getting pregnant. I want to but I know if I get pregnant now, I will have to go back to work for a few months until Curtis graduates. I am having a hard time knowing what it is I am more comfortable with--waiting or going ahead and trying. I know that it really doesn't matter what timing I want. I know that if God wants me to get pregnant now, that He will allow it to happen even if it means I have to work for a while. I just need to have faith that God will also provide me with peace in going back to work and not be able to spend all those moments with my child.

So that is really all I have to say. Not much, just areas I have realized need to be given up to God. I have a very hard time with that. I like to have control of things. So, this is a test for me and I hope I can pass it!