2 under 14 months

Wow!  I NEVER once in a million years thought this transition would be so hard in so many different ways.  I knew it would be different and at times difficult, but not to the point of needing to stay with my mom for a week because I was so emotional and couldn't even think about being alone once Curtis went back to work.

Of course, Curtis and I getting food poisoning didn't help matters and I feel that is where everything went downhill.  I was terrified to touch my children,especially Sally, because there was this voice in the back of my head telling me it was a horrible virus that was going to be spread to my children and send Sally to the NICU.  I also became extremely clingy to Curtis and the thought of him going back to work brought on major water works.

Then, Sally prefers to be held at night.  I don't sleep well when I am holding her...afraid I will drop her or roll over on her.  But it is often the only way she will fall asleep.  So, I am at that point where you do what you have got to do to make it...survival mode.  I keep praying that God will help me not need to sleep so much. That He will teach me how to cope without it.

Ava has become a different child overnight.  She throws fits over the silliest of things and gets her feelings hurt often.  She is into everything more so than normal and totally sabotages herself.   It has been hard watching your child change right in front of your eyes from the once compliant, easy-going child they were to someone who throws fits every time you turn around.  You almost feel like this change in personality is all your doing since you brought another child into the house.

My attitude was so poor and concerning, Curtis and I both thought it was best to spend some time at my moms so I wouldn't be alone.  I was so emotional and just not myself AT ALL, Curtis thought it was best I go see a doctor.  So I did, and they suggested meds.  I am not a medicine person.  So I am giving it a little time to see if I feel better before I resort to medicine.

I have noticed getting out and, also, being able to spend individual time with both girls has helped.  Of course, I would still be a wreck if it weren't for my mom, the amazing generosity of my friends from church who have provided me with food, and my friends and their encouragement, support and love.

I know this is just a bump in the road and  I will overcome it.  It is a challenge...boy...is it a challenge!  I know I am blessed beyond measure to have 2 beautiful, healthy girls and family and friends all around.  Just a season of life to get through and I know I can do it!