To start, things are getting better. I am still at my parent's house, but I am planning on packing up my stuff and heading home tomorrow. I am starting to realize that a big part of my problem is control. I am reading a book called, She's Got Issues, and the author, Nicole Unice, talks about the issues of control. When Curtis and I got food poisoning, I had no control over that situation. My plan was to get home from the hospital and hit the road running. I didn't plan on being secluded from my children, scared to death to touch them, not able to get up and feed my family or myself. I was caught so off guard from getting sick that I lost all hope. I started realizing that my schedule that Ava does so well with was going to be tampered with. I realized that the amount of sleep Ava had been allowing Curtis and I to have was going to disappear. I realized that Ava was going to change in her reactions to things, because 1)that is what 14 month olds do and 2) because the world around her had quickly changed.
Things are better. I still haven't lived life with 2 babies on my own yet, but I am feeling more confident that I can do this. I have had amazing support from my family and so many friends have been checking in on me, praying for me, and offering time up to me to come and visit. I couldn't have made it through these last 2 weeks without them. I am so thankful that I have family so close that is so willing to help and come to my rescue.
Sally still doesn't like to sleep at night alone. She will go like 5 hours between feedings at night, but will only eat if she is with one of us. She sleeps a lot during the day and enjoys sleeping on her tummy in her boppy. She actually just picked her head up from one side and turned it to the other side. Strong little booger.
Ava is still adjusting. But we have noticed that as I have eased up, she is happier. I think my attitude was rubbing off on her. She was feeling the stress of me and it was stressing her out. At mom's house there is a lot more for her to get into, so we have had to watch her even closer than I would at my home. She is starting to eat her food again and she is still sleeping and napping well. However, this morning she was already in timeout before she ate her breakfast...about 10 minutes (if that) after getting out of bed.
If you are reading this and have offered love and support in some kind of way, thank you. It has been appreciated and very much needed. This journey is far from over. But as a friend reminded me today, at least I have my little ones to hug and kiss and play with and family that is close by and safe.
No comments:
Post a Comment