My little one got her first bug. We didn't know it for about a week, although signs were there. You would think we would have thought something was up but we didn't.
After days of Ava refusing to eat or drink her formula, I grew frustrated and took it out on her. I felt awful after the fact and wish I would not have behaved in such an unloving way, but I did. I felt even worse when I found out she was actually not feeling well. Sunday night, I had thrown up. I thought it was either something I ate or just weird pregnancy stuff. Anyway, on Monday, I was still nauseous all day and Ava vomited just about her entire first bottle. It worried me. I wondered if there was something we had both eaten that could have caused us both to get sick. The only thing I could come up with was cheese (which Curtis had and he was fine) or apple juice. I threw away the apple juice. Then, she ate minimally that day. It was a struggle getting anything into her system. However, she wasn't running a fever and she was playing perfectly fine so I thought she was ok. Tuesday morning when I went to get her, there was vomit on her crib sheets. Again, she was acting fine with no fever. She just wasn't into eating. I chalked it up to teething, because she was getting a new tooth and finishing up another tooth. But the feeding just got worse and worse and as it got more horrible, I got more and more frustrated and didn't know what to do. I got mad at her...an 11 month old, my baby girl. Wednesday and Thursday there was a runny diaper and I thought then, something could be wrong or I could be doing this feeding thing all wrong. I decided to make an appointment.
When we got to the doctor Friday, Dr. Hight said her tummy sounded very irritated and her throat was very red. My poor baby and what a horrible mom. I had been forcing my daughter with a sore throat and upset stomach to eat and getting mad at her when she wouldn't comply. I remember actually thinking her lack of eating and fighting us with it was a sign of defiance. I teared up in the room with the doctor. I felt horrible for not thinking she was sick and thinking that, instead, she was just being a bad behaved little girl.
I was told to give her some Tylenol and Culturelle (probiotic) to get some good bacteria in her system. I give her the Tylenol 15-20 minutes before she eats and it is going so much better. I am also feeding her food before her bottles which has given us a little more flexibility. She is doing much better and I am so thankful. I am not forcing her. If she doesn't want it, then ok. She is going to be ok. I just have to keep telling myself that.
I have learned to not assume that she is being bad. I know there are going to be times when she is older that she will do acts of defiance, but the way I handled what I thought was an act of defiance, is not how I want to be. I want to be more understanding, listen and consider there could be something else going on.
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