happiness and joy

Psalms 126:4-6
"Restore our fortunes, O Lord, like streams in the Negev. Those who sow in tears will reap withs songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him."

These are the verses I read today. This has been a trying time for me. For those who know me, this will come as no shock to you. But for those who don't...I am a huge worrier. I worry about everything. If you have ever read the book Wemberly Worried by Kevin Henkes...a children's book of course...you would find out I am so much like her. I worry about every single thing. Not only do I worry, but I am also a worst case scenario kind of person. I figure if something is not going to go my way it is going to be the worst thing that could ever happen.

This just goes to show my immaturity in Christ. I have known God all of my life...like really...all my life. I have known him, believed in Him, and loved Him. However I have not truly believed in His power even though I have never been given a reason not to.

I need to trust in God, not just the fact that I believe there is one. If I believe there is a God, which I truly do, then I need to believe in everything about him. Believing in God means having faith and patience and trust...both of which I am a struggler. Faith is knowing that He will see you through no matter what, knowing He is bigger and stronger and more powerful than anything that comes my way. Patience is knowing that trusting in Him means that my life is according to His proper timing and not mine at all. Trust is believing in His mighty work and it produces joy!

These are things I need to work on!

Father, all of my life I have known You, believed in You, and loved You. But after 29 years I have not matured. I am still a child. A new Christian. My mind is always filled with worries and MY plan for MY life. When times, things, plans, etc., are uncertain or don't go according to my plan, I don't believe faithfully in You. I don't trust in You. In fact, I believe that the worst is going to happen to me and my life. Father, You have not ever harmed me or given me something I could not handle. On the contrary, You have given me everything I've wanted. Things often go my way. You have never let go. Never.
Father, refine me. Help me to learn to trust in you and to cast my anxiety and worries to You. Because you have always been and will always be there for me. Thank you for Your unfailing love even though I fail to show you how much I truly do believe in You.