Friday, August 22, 2014

Reading....oh, if I had all the time in the world, I think I would spend it reading.  I absolutely love to read.  I mostly read books that will help me gain wisdom and help me to grow in my relationship with my God, my family, and I am reading books that can help me be a better parent/disciplinarian. 

Of course, if you were to see me out in public and even within the walls of my home, you would think the discipline books were not doing me much of a service. 

Currently, the discipline book I am reading is


I must be really unintelligent, because for something that seems so simple I find myself dumbfounded and inconsistent.  I have just finished the section on counting and so I have begun trying to do that in the house.  The book says not to try this out in public until you are getting a good response at the home. So, if you see me out in public with a deer in the headlight look you can bet Ava is throwing a fit and I have no idea what to do (which is something you will see if you spend any time around us at all).  Discipline in the home with your own children is no joke.  I just hope I can get this thing under control (and when I say thing I really mean the concept of discipline, not Ava..although she can often act like a wild thing.)
 
I look at some of my friends and, for the most part, their kids are such willing listeners.  Sure they have their moment or two, they are kids.  But I am having a moment or two every moment or two.  I wish I had it under control like they do. 
 
It isn't easy to admit because I said I would never be the kind of parent who cared about being a friend to their kids, but I really struggle with that.  I remember coming across this in my classroom and saying, "When I have kids I could care less about being their friends or hurting their feelings.  I am here, first and foremost, to be their parent.  Later I can be their friend. I will have them disciplined to a T."
 
Bahahaha...
 
But, really, it isn't funny because I am really disappointed in myself.  I am frustrated with how hard this has been for me and I am confused as to what could be so hard about it.  One thing I have learned in the brief 20 months I have been a parent is to NEVER SAY NEVER.  Those words will come back to bite you one day...for real.  
 
Well, I am going to keep reading this book, keep praying for strength to be consistent, patient, calm and loving.  Hopefully with the help of this book and prayer, God will work a miracle. 
 
But, wouldn't it be hard to get mad at this too often?
 
 

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