Philippians 4: 4
During the month of November, Curtis and I practiced being thankful. I cut out some leaves and we would both write something we were thankful for that day. It was a great exercise and I looked forward to reading Curtis' leaf each day. It was also a gentle reminder of how there IS something to be thankful for in every day. The fact that God has allowed me another day is something to be thankful for because I don't even deserve that. As a human being, a sinner, the only thing I'm deserving of is death.
But, as 2014 has begun, I have found myself dwelling on our dwindling savings, credit and car payment debt, and tight monthly budget. I find myself reading other peoples blogs and posts and comparing myself to them. I see their beautifully, well organized homes and start staring at my unpainted walls and mixed match, hand me down furniture. I read of my friends with kids who are able to go out and do fun things with their kids and we just can't do that right now. I see pictures of all the Christmas presents under the trees and think about how we weren't smart enough with our money to do that for Ava or each other. I have become discontented and ungrateful once again.
Are we lacking anything? NO. Are we hurting because of the financial strain we are under at this time? NO. Do we have food on our dinner table every night? YES. Do we have clothes to wear every day? YES. Do we have running cars and money for the gas? YES! Do we have a nice roof over our head with heating and cooling, running water, warm beds, hot showers, place to do our laundry, a place to come home to every night and be together as a family, a place for Ava to feel safe and secure and to have fun? YES!!!!!! So what excuse in the world do I have to be ungrateful? I don't have one.
Yes, things are tight. Yes, I made a financial sacrifice to stay home with Ava. But, I wouldn't trade my time with her for all the money in the world. And, yes, there will be an end to these momentary financial troubles we are in. We are slowing paying things off. We may not be saving a whole lot right now, but we are getting things paid off, slowly but surely. I don't go out shopping unless I absolutely need to, so I am not tempted to buy something that is unnecessary. We don't always shop at the best grocery store and we don't buy expensive clothing or other items. We buy what is necessary and what will do the job.
I use to get mad at Curtis because I thought he was the only one in our little family who struggled with this. But, God has pointed out to me that this is a HUGE, DAILY struggle for me, as well.
A friends blog wrote about her family's New Year Resolution. I read that post and was convicted. I decided that we were going to join her in practicing being thankful for what we DO have, instead of what we don't. So, we too, have started a thankful journal that we are doing each night at dinner. I am looking forward to the things in life that come to mind as we fill out our journal. I am tired of fixating on what I don't have and what every one else has. I am tired of not finding the joy in my life right now, because there IS so much to be joyful over. How can I look into those sweet eyes of my daughter or feel the kicks (and rather painful) punches of my little girl who is due in 40 days and not be grateful? How can I look at my house and see that, even though it may not be decorated the way I had planned or may not have the storage that I want, it has a lot of love and it provides all we need during this time in our lives and not be grateful? How can I be ungrateful when God has given me and my family good health, healthy pregnancies, healthy babies, and provided us with safety as we go about our day? It just doesn't make sense. I have got to stop wasting time on being discontent and start rejoicing because God has given me another day, which in and of itself, is something to be so thankful for. I don't want to meet God face to face and see His tears as He asks me why I spent so much of my time full of regrets, frustrations, and jealousy. He deserves way more than that from me. It's the least I can do for Him.
Are we lacking anything? NO. Are we hurting because of the financial strain we are under at this time? NO. Do we have food on our dinner table every night? YES. Do we have clothes to wear every day? YES. Do we have running cars and money for the gas? YES! Do we have a nice roof over our head with heating and cooling, running water, warm beds, hot showers, place to do our laundry, a place to come home to every night and be together as a family, a place for Ava to feel safe and secure and to have fun? YES!!!!!! So what excuse in the world do I have to be ungrateful? I don't have one.
Yes, things are tight. Yes, I made a financial sacrifice to stay home with Ava. But, I wouldn't trade my time with her for all the money in the world. And, yes, there will be an end to these momentary financial troubles we are in. We are slowing paying things off. We may not be saving a whole lot right now, but we are getting things paid off, slowly but surely. I don't go out shopping unless I absolutely need to, so I am not tempted to buy something that is unnecessary. We don't always shop at the best grocery store and we don't buy expensive clothing or other items. We buy what is necessary and what will do the job.
I use to get mad at Curtis because I thought he was the only one in our little family who struggled with this. But, God has pointed out to me that this is a HUGE, DAILY struggle for me, as well.
A friends blog wrote about her family's New Year Resolution. I read that post and was convicted. I decided that we were going to join her in practicing being thankful for what we DO have, instead of what we don't. So, we too, have started a thankful journal that we are doing each night at dinner. I am looking forward to the things in life that come to mind as we fill out our journal. I am tired of fixating on what I don't have and what every one else has. I am tired of not finding the joy in my life right now, because there IS so much to be joyful over. How can I look into those sweet eyes of my daughter or feel the kicks (and rather painful) punches of my little girl who is due in 40 days and not be grateful? How can I look at my house and see that, even though it may not be decorated the way I had planned or may not have the storage that I want, it has a lot of love and it provides all we need during this time in our lives and not be grateful? How can I be ungrateful when God has given me and my family good health, healthy pregnancies, healthy babies, and provided us with safety as we go about our day? It just doesn't make sense. I have got to stop wasting time on being discontent and start rejoicing because God has given me another day, which in and of itself, is something to be so thankful for. I don't want to meet God face to face and see His tears as He asks me why I spent so much of my time full of regrets, frustrations, and jealousy. He deserves way more than that from me. It's the least I can do for Him.
You are so right. I needed that reminder today. Thanks friend.
ReplyDeleteI feel like I need that reminder everyday. :)
DeleteAnyway, I love ya Sara!!!!