My mom is a beautiful person inside and out! I am so lucky to have her in my life! My mom did a wonderful job raising me (if I do say so myself). She was very concerned with raising me to be a child of God. I will remember her always praying with me and teaching me in the way I should go. My mom was my mom first. She disciplined me, she taught me right from wrong and she loved me unconditionally. She has very high expectations for me still and has always believed in me. Now, she is not only my mother, but she is my friend. We don't always see eye to eye, we even drive each other crazy, but we are best friends. I am thankful for my mom and the rules she placed in my life. I am thankful that she made me go to a christian college. I am thankful my mom prayed over me. I am thankful she wanted me to meet a good christian guy to be my husband. My mother was always supportive of my dreams and has always wanted to see them through. Mom, there are not near enough words for me to say to you. But I want you to know I love you, I thank you for being a role model on how to be a good mother to my kids one day and I would never be where I am today if you did not love God and want Him to be a part of my life. God did well when He chose you to be my mom. I love you!
I am a typical girl who had and has big dreams. When I was little I dreamed of being a little princess, marrying prince charming (which did come true :) and having a unicorn. I dreamed of being a professional equestrian jumper and rider, I dreamed of being a pilot for commercial airlines, I dreamed of being a irish dancer or playing the violin for the Riverdance, I dreamed of living on an island. But as I grew up, things in my life changed. I had to sell my horse because my mom was afraid Jazz wouldn't get a lot of attention with me going 16 hours away to college. It broke my heart to see my beautiful arabian mare go to a new home. My dreams of being a pilot were not long lived...that was a very temporary dream.
As I have gotten older, priorities changed. Paths changed, ideas changed, feelings changed, life changed, I changed! When I would work with orphans during the summer I realized, I want to adopt or one day be the momma at an orphanage. I would also like to have a camp for children with all different needs where they can come and take care of horses, ride horses, anything involving horses. These are things that may not happen in the anywhere near future, but they are dreams that I could see in my future someday.
The past few months, I have been contemplating my job situtation. I love my children, I love teaching. I do not like the politics involved in it. It takes so much away from the actual job of teaching and knowing what our kids do and do not need. So much time is spent on worthless, meaningless, small things, that in the big scheme of things, DO NOT matter.
A dream that has recently come to me is one that involves the church I am now going to, Center City Church. Center City wants to start a coffee house called Ebenezer's Coffeehouse, here in Charlotte. Ebenezer's Coffeehouse is already in existence in D.C., but this church is trying to extend it to here. It is a multiple use venue where we can reach out to the community. One way David Docusen has mentioned reaching out to the community that really speaks to me is doing an after school. I would love to be in charge of that. I do not have a clue what that would entail, I don't know what I am doing, but God does. If you are reading this, please pray for this. Please pray for guidance and God's voice to be heard. I do not want to do something that He does not see favorable for my life or those at Center City or those in the community.
So those are my dreams. Ones that are closer than others, but exciting all the same! What are your dreams? Remember, you can have the best dreams planned out for you and your life, but Gods dreams and plans for you are so much bigger and better than anything you could ever imagine for yourself. Put your faith, trust, and hope in Him. He can work and will work miracles in your life if you allow Him to. He can make all your dreams come true and you will live happily ever after with Him for eternity!
Life is just so daily. I think that quote is so true...life is daily, but what is important is how do I spend my DAILY LIFE? I am so consumed with the unimportant things, I take every second of my life for granted. As I hear about the devastation across the south, especially Alabama, I am saddened. Things can be replaced, but lives cannot. There is bad weather coming this way and I am thnking about all the things and people I take for granted. I am thinking about those who have lost their homes and belongings, I am thinking about those who have lost loved ones and I am truly sorry for their loss..Father, please provide comfort to those who are heartbroken right now in the southern states. I pray that you will wrap your loving arms around them and help them to see Your glory in this, somehow. I pray You will provide comfort and help to those in need. Thank you for your safety and love over my friends and family, but bless those who were not as fortunate.
So I have had my nieces here since Sunday. It has made me realize how ready for a family Curtis and I are. I have really enjoyed having them stay with us and will miss them when they leave. I know that God has a plan for me and Curtis...I just wish I knew what it was. I don't have the patience to wait and see. I never have the patience for anything. In fact, I stopped asking God to grant me patience because every time I did, He would present me with something to practice having patience for. When you are a teacher, you don't need any more reasons than you already have to be taught a lesson in patience. Therefore, every time I would get ready to ask God for patience, I thought twice and stopped. Awful, I know, but also so true.
But patience is what I need. "But for those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not grow faint." Isaiah 40:31
If I just wait on God I will soar on wings like eagles and will not be tired, stressed, anything, but strong and stress-free! Now that is awesome...here is hoping and waiting on you God!
On a funnier note though, my niece informed me today that you just need a pregnancy test to get pregnant...ohhhhh...the innocence of children....one more reason I love them and my job of working with children every day.
Wow! I can't believe how long it has been since I have last posted...
So much for one weekly...haha...that's the way life goes sometimes. Well I am concluding my spring break as of tomorrow. I can't believe it is already over...tear... It was a terrific week. I did what I wanted when I wanted. There was no to do list for me...if I felt like doing something I did, if I didn't then I didn't....PERFECT!
This is so different from the norm for me. I have demands to be met and needs to facilitate. Life has been stress free for me this week....its been super nice..but it is back to reality.
We have about 8 weeks left of school...8 WEEKS!!!! I can't believe it. This year has flown by. I am going to miss my kids. It is really funny...I can remember at the beginning of the year thinking this class could never make me fall in love with them like last years group. But I was wrong...they are so wonderful. I love them all..they mean a whole lot to me and I am so proud of them. They have all made tremendous growth. I get to see daily why I chose teaching as my profession.
Now, onto a more pressing issue--tomorrow is Easter. I am lucky and get to spend it with my family (minus Curtis) :( What is Easter exactly? It is the celebration of Christ our Savior coming back from the grave. My savior died. MY SAVIOR CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD!!!Isn't the amazing? Christ died for my sins and yours. He laid his life on the cross-the punishment for those who committed the most horrible crimes-for MY sins. People yelled names at Him, people asked for His death, people beat Him, people enjoyed watching Him be beaten and get His hands nailed to a cross. Did He deserve any of this? No. We did, but He took the fall for us. Because of Him, I can be here today. I don't ever deserve any of what Christ did for me. I could never repay Him and a do a lousy job at even trying. But I am choosing to live each day for Him and to remember that it is for Him I do all things.
Father, You watched your Son die a shameful death for no wrongdoing. You even asked Him to die for us. He prayed that You would come up with some other way, but ultimately He trusted in You and let Your will be done. I can't even imagine watching my child (when I ever have one) being beaten, scorned and nailed to a cross. You did and You could have intervened, but You didn't because You love me. You love me even when I am unlovable and lazy. You give me chance after chance to be more like Your Son. You grant favor over me even when I am least deserving. You continue to bestow blessing upon blessing on me. Father I love you. I am thankful for Your sacrifice and I am thankful for Your Son. He didn't have to die for my sins, but He did because He loves You and Your sons and daughters more than His life. Father, grant me the courage to stand up for You when I need to. Give me the love You desire from me. Help me to love others like You would love them. Help me to be honest and hardworking. Help me to surrender to Your will. Help me to be helpful, kind and friendly to others. Remind me that I am here because of You and for You I shall do all things. I love You. In Your Holy and loving name, Amen
Really I should title this what's neck am I going to step on instead of who's
Anyway, sometimes I think my neck is the neck that needs to be stepped on...but I know that is satan talking to me and not the love of God. David at Center City posed that question today...a great one I thought. One that made me think and I came up with a few things I need to step on. I am struggling at work. I am easily frustrated...not with my kids, but coworkers. I just get so agitated. I have had a very cold heart this past week, especially. I hate this about me and I want it to change. I think I am better at my job than others, that I have all the answers, etc., etc., etc. I need to step on the neck of pridefulness. I have recently learned that I am a very proud person...not very humble at all. I have got to see others before myself. In 1 Peter 5:5 it says God opposes the proud but give grace to the humble. I want to be someone who is quiet and not quick to speak or act. I am not those things at all.
I am a very opinionated, black and white, my way or the high way kind of person. This can be a good thing. Being this way kept me strong in very hard times in life where for most it was easy to choose friends or paths that were cool but not right. I didn't care about being in the "in" crowd. I was and am proud of who I was/am and was sure of who I was/am. There is no changing it. In this case being so strong-willed is good. However, it does have its detriments, too. When someone doesn't quite agree with me I think they are simple minded and think I am better than they are. This doesn't leave my heart very open to showing them the love of Christ. Sometimes, I feel like I done all the running of my life...and honestly...I haven't let God take the reigns of most of it. I profess His name, I certainly believe in Him and His power and sovereignty...but why don't I believe it and allow it for my own life? I have to be so frustrating to Him. Yet, maybe I am not. One thing is for sure...I am truly thankful that He is God and I am not. I would not be so forgiving...of even myself.
Father, I need you. I truly do. I have known this all my life. Yet, I struggle with allowing You to take the lead. Father, because I haven't let You in as I should have, there are many things inside of me fighting. I am not the person You need me to be. I don't even know if I know who that is anymore because I have dug myself into such a muddy hole. I need Your strength. The strength You have to quiet and still rivers, to move mountains, to make the Earth stand still. I need Your wisdom and Your light to brighten my heart and my head. Help me to step on the neck of being prideful. I don't want to be prideful anymore. I am not perfect, nor will I ever be. I am just me and that is good enough to You. Why isn't it good enough for me? I have realized that I am not as strong as I thought I was. I am weak and can only make it with Your strength. Please help me to seek Your strength, every day, in everything I do. Help me to be more mindful of my thoughts. Let loving words and gestures flow out of me. Help me to love my coworkers as You have loved me.
This verse was read today and it gives me hope! Psalms 30: 1-5 I will exalt you, O LORD, for you lifted me out of the depths and did not let my enemies gloat over me. O LORD my God, I called to you for help and you healed me. O LORD, you brought me up from the grave; you spared me from going down into the pit. Sing to the LORD, you saints of his; praise his holy name.For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.
So, I think every week (we will see about that...) I am going to think of a song that I can apply to my life. It may be an old song, a new song, who knows??? Since going to Center City, I have met several people there who refer to live in seasons. I love looking at it in that perspective. I also can't believe I have never looked at it in that way before...especially with the chapter in Ecclesiastes. I like looking at life as seasons, because you know seasons come and seasons go. I am ready for this season of my life to move on to a new one. I am ready for the busyness to come to an end, I am ready to spend some real quality time with my husband, I am ready to have a break from the stress of my job, I am ready to begin motherhood...
I know God is working in me, on me, and through me. I know there are reasons why I haven't gotten pregnant and I am trusting God in that. I don't know the reasons, but I know He has them. I think God is working on me and I need to form a more perfect bond with Him. My husband and I need to be more united in Him and in each other. God needs us to make Him the number one priority in our life, so we can be the parents He desires us to be...ones that will raise our child or children to know Him, really know Him, love Him, live life to serve Him and serve others.
Anyway, this song below is a song I have loved for many, many years. I love to think about it, sing it and meditate on it when I am stressed and feel like there will be no end....It is called Every Season and it is sung by Nicole Nordeman. I love it and I think you will too!
Every evening sky, an invitation To trace the patterned stars And early in July, a celebration For freedom that is ours And I notice You In children’s games In those who watch them from the shade Every drop of sun is full of fun and wonder You are summer
And even when the trees have just surrendered To the harvest time Forfeiting their leaves in late September And sending us inside Still I notice You when change begins And I am braced for colder winds I will offer thanks for what has been and was to come You are autumn
And everything in time and under heaven Finally falls asleep Wrapped in blankets white, all creation Shivers underneath And still I notice you When branches crack And in my breath on frosted glass Even now in death, You open doors for life to enter You are winter
And everything that’s new has bravely surfaced Teaching us to breathe What was frozen through is newly purposed Turning all things green So it is with You And how You make me new With every season’s change And so it will be As You are re-creating me Summer, autumn, winter, spring
